Bad joke time

[soupdragon]

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Simon, a budding guitarist, and his dads brother were walking along a country road one night when suddenly a tractor came round a bend and ploughed into the pair of them from behind.

Unfortunately Simon was mangled from the waist down but still alive, not so good news tho for his dads brother who was killed outright. Simon of course was rushed to hospital where surgeons and doctors battled to save his life.. in a ground breaking operation, Simons bottom half was swapped with that of his dead relative and he was in a critical condition for a few days.

Simon made a remarkable recovery and inside 6 weeks they had him out of bed and walking albeit slowly. Simon started to rebuild his life, his enforced layup enabled him to concentrate on his guitar playing and he became so good he was eventually entered for "Stars in their Eyes". He got through all the selection rounds and was to appear on the tv in front of millions.

The fateful day came and after rehearsals the time for recording arrived..

The curtains opened and to all the special effects, flashing lights and smoke rolling off the stage, Simon walked to the front of the stage where stood waiting was the grinning gay guy with the beard.

"So", says Matthew.." and who are you going to be tonight?"











"Tonight Mathew, im going to be Simon and Half Uncle!!!"

[lisa]

the joke was posted ages ago by shifter
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1761
pope and the 7 dwarfs

[Nicky]

you get all the way through it then wish you hadnt bothered very stupid x

[soupdragon]

not only that.... you dont find penguins in Alaska!!!!!

[TheBaron]

not only that.... you dont find penguins in Alaska!!!!!

actually u do but only in a zoo

[kinkypeeps]

what do you call a woman propped against a wall?

Eileen

what do you call a Chinese woman propped against a wall?

Irene

Tiddley Didley Ba-tum tish!

[willow]

david beckham is teaching his new puppy the football formations, he only understands paw paw 2 lol

made me laugh !! lol

[willow]

even though some of the jokes are quite bad, they are still funny!!

[fraser30]

Thats a shocker

[kinkypeeps]

A duck was waiting to cross the road...

A Chicken walks past and shouts "Don't do it mate..you'll never hear the end of it!!"

[champ]

A duck was waiting to cross the road...

A Chicken walks past and shouts "Don't do it mate..you'll never hear the end of it!!"

[Dollymopp]

I had an accident yesterday, I banged my head really hard on a kitchen cupboard door, ouch!
It had a huge lump on it and was really sore! I heard that rubbing some margarine on would help, so that's what I did. Woke up this morning and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Better.'

[sophie]

[padg]

So bad it is funny, brightened my day in the office.

[tommybadman]

Man with hole in pocket ... he feel cocky all day

Man who wank in Bank ... he cums into money

Man who runs in front of bus ... he get tyred

Man who runs behind bus ... he gets exhausted

Woman buys mirror in B&Q ..,. at the checkout the guy says ... "do you want a screw for that"?
She says "No thanks ... but I'll suck your cock for a lawnmower"

Man who walks sideways through airport turnstyle... going to Bangkok.

[Craig]

Just found out i can still have wild athletic sex at 40. Its great as i only live at number 32 so its not far to walk home after

[Fragglecock]

ROFLMAO

[Craig]

Why are parking spaces like girls at parties ? If you get there too late all the best ones are taken so when nobody is looking, you stick it in the disabled one