Mental asylum

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Re: Mental asylum

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As we return to the Big Brother house, we find the Production Team frantically discussing what has transpired on this very strange Sunday afternoon. One of the team have suggested a name change to the production from "Big Brother" to "The Mental Assylum" as it's been pointed out the current house mates would be best suited to a lunatic assylum. Lead Production Executive Champ having pulled his hair out and being heard to be shouting "No, No, no!!! What the f*** are they doing NOW???" which was followed by "What idiot instructed them to attempt to build an Anderson Shelter in the garden!!!!" is borderline agreeing with the name change.

Production Psychologists have reviewed the events of the day and Ivy's Diary Room session and have concluded Ivy "may be harbouring murderous intent" towards fellow house mate TM and is definitely not sexually frustrated as previosuly suspected. They have further suggested the house mates are not given any kind of practical challenges to do for the next couple of days and believe it may be a good idea to remove the shovels and other sharp objects.
Following a visit to the Diary Room by TM they suspect he is projecting his dark fantasies on to the other inmates/house mates and seem to think he has some kind of odd thoughts towards Lord, they are undecided as to whether or not TM believes Lord to be the Late Michael Jackson or not but find his thinking unusually odd for him.

Meanwhile, the mystery of Lord's minion request has been solved, he had instructed his serving staff to bring him a large tin of Victoria chcolate biscuits and other confectionery which he's been sharing with the other house mates. Very odd for Lord as in general most people know he's an horder when it comes to food.
Lord himself has been to the Diary Room and suggested everyone may need a large bowl of Angel Delight after the days happenings and believes this will help put a smile on everyones face and may even bring Ivy out of her murderous rage.

Mad has now stopped constructing what was believed to be a makeshift tomb stone and has placed it someone out of site of the cameras and at the suggestion of the Production crew Liam has began filling the hole in the garden back in, his request for a JCB was swiftly denied.
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy mai's sitting in the diary room, confessing that she's hidden a sharpe object somewhere in the house for later use on some of the unruly housemates! Xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: Mon Dec 07, 2020 7:20 pm Ivy mai's sitting in the diary room, confessing that she's hidden a sharpe object somewhere in the house for later use on some of the unruly housemates! Xx

I think we all know whoes thats getting saved for
- Liam
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Re: Mental asylum

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I think we do too! Just need help to drag the body and bury it haha xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Whilst Ivy is confessing to having hidden a sharp object with intent to harm one of the other house mates, production staff have isolated the other housemates and are conducting a search of the house mates rooms with Security staff. Ivy has been locked into the diary room until the offending article can be found and removed.

The production staff don't think she has realised the door locked as she has been happily chatting about her day and her intent!
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy realised the moment she said anything about hiding a sharp object the door had been locked, and used this as an excuse for some respite, knowing fine well they wouldn't find the object (especially since she hid it in her knickers).
As production staff search, ivy unloads all of her murderous feelings, knowing that, whilst sat in here, nobody will call her Ian 🤣🤣.
Plus this gives her time to develop a plan of action xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Another day in the Big brother asylum

Ivy has decided to take control and keep the naughty housemates in line. She has come up with a cunning plan to dress provocatively in uniform and lingerie, turning the naughty housemates in to jibbering wrecks with hard ons, so that will do exactly what she commands..... or so she thought.

Instead the house was visited by all 3 emergency services.
First Mad saw ivy, she looked stunning but calls to the show soon started flooding in about Mad and what he was muttering about what he would like to do to her.
Producer Champ and the legal team had to step in and call the police to arrest Champ after questions were raised whether what he was saying in his mumbling was actually legal and consensual, so for the safety of all and the house plants, he was detained.
On seeing Ivys new outfits, Lord is heard say that he is off to the diary room for a quick stroke.
After getting his hands dirty having a stroke of himself, just as he is about to 'pay tribute' again Producer Champ steps in as he is worried after Lords cum face had not changed for 45 minutes and he still has not climaxed, it was starting to terrify the public too.
Paramedics were called and later confirmed that Lord has turned in to a jibbering mess due to him having an actual stroke over Ivy. He has taken away to be cared for by Male nurses, as their was a fear that a female nurse may just about finish him off in more ways than 1.
TM did not really seem interested in Ivy at all. Instead he is seen in his 'special' corner masturbating furiously as per usual in to the plant pots and up the patio doors, but Producer champ is alarmed when smoke and flames are spotted coming from TMs special corner.
The fire brigade are called and early investigations are not sure if TM was masturbating that fast he caused friction and set the carpet on fire or whether he was ejaculating in to the plug sockets again.

Either way, Ivy is happy. She has seen guys with handcuffs and a big baton, guys that tell you to lay of your back and know their way around a person, and she has seen mens helmets and men man handling long hoses.
Ivy is that happy she is a little wet. Producer champ has dailed 99 and is ready to dial the other 9 and ask for coast guard rescue over fears that Ivy may actually flood the place.
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 12:19 am Ivy realised the moment she said anything about hiding a sharp object the door had been locked, and used this as an excuse for some respite, knowing fine well they wouldn't find the object (especially since she hid it in her knickers).
As production staff search, ivy unloads all of her murderous feelings, knowing that, whilst sat in here, nobody will call her Ian 🤣🤣.
Plus this gives her time to develop a plan of action xx
That sharp object in your knickers wouldnt be my sharp whit and charm would it?
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 4:56 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
You know they will want to watch. Xx
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:50 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 4:56 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
You know they will want to watch. Xx
Not everyone is as perverted as you 🤣🤣🤣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 6:30 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:50 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 4:56 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
You know they will want to watch. Xx
Not everyone is as perverted as you 🤣🤣🤣 xx
I'm not saying they are perverts, but I'm sure they would have a morbid curiosity about the destruction of me. I'm thinking it would be like the shop scene from Pulp fiction with Z in his shop.
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:50 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 4:56 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
You know they will want to watch. Xx
Should do well in the 4pm slot on CBeebies.

Apparently it's an Asylum spinoff called Ivy's Bedtime Stories.

Top selling Christmas toy is destined to be The Master Playset. A male doll where instead of putting a milk bottle in the mouth and watching it pee, you stick a toy tree in the arse and watch him cry. Blood accessory is sold separately.

Some kids have complained about the Tickle Me Ivy doll. They couldn't understand why the water was coming from the pants rather than the eyes. They also said the noises the doll makes didnt sound like like laughter or crying. And got really loud and more intense the more you tickled. It's selling really well with adults, however.

The Hasbro manufactured, Lord Luken's Cum Face is set to be the biggest selling board game in years. Though there are concerns about the cream. The Lord Luken Cum Face action figure has been taken off the market. The kids found it too scary.
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 7:04 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:50 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 4:56 pm
the master wrote: Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 pm Ivy has come up with a plan to get rid of me. It involves her literally butt fucking me to death. I'm not sure. She thinks it will boast ratings in the big brother asylum. The only stipulation is that you have to watch.
I am doing that with a tree trunk and was going to do it away from the cameras, don't want to subject all of the other poor housemates to that! 🤣🤣 xx
You know they will want to watch. Xx
Should do well in the 4pm slot on CBeebies.

Apparently it's an Asylum spinoff called Ivy's Bedtime Stories.

Top selling Christmas toy is destined to be The Master Playset. A male doll where instead of putting a milk bottle in the mouth and watching it pee, you stick a toy tree in the arse and watch him cry. Blood accessory is sold separately.

Some kids have complained about the Tickle Me Ivy doll. They couldn't understand why the water was coming from the pants rather than the eyes. They also said the noises the doll makes didnt sound like like laughter or crying. And got really loud and more intense the more you tickled. It's selling really well with adults, however.

The Hasbro manufactured, Lord Luken's Cum Face is set to be the biggest selling board game in years. Though there are concerns about the cream. The Lord Luken Cum Face action figure has been taken off the market. The kids found it too scary.
You forget about Mads monopoly game. It was fun for all the family until the truth came out. Apparently landing on old Kent road, with a hotel and paying £60, or landing on mayfair, house, paying £400 was not a game, but more where he had sex and what he paid. (We are still unsure if the player pieces represent what he had sex with at these places.
Questions are still asked too about "go to jail" was that him spending time in prison or him fancying something different and arranging himself to be 'used' ?!?! Whatever the case is, he got paid £200 shortly afterwards.
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Re: Mental asylum

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Another day in the big brother asylum and all this talk of games has got Producer champ thinking of a game night.

He has already rejected ivys idea of a pinata donkey that the house mates can string up and hit with sticks after finding plans of the so called pinata were actually TM and is hung from a tree and beaten with sticks. Oddly enough TM has a huge grin and hard on in the diagram that Champ found.

Champ comes up with a game of film charades as he figures "what can go wrong?"

Ivy has been nominated to guess.
Up first is Lord.
Lord is pointing at Mad, Liam, TM and then Ivy. Time is up and lord is left frustrated by Ivy as she guesses "the usual suspicions" when the answer was 3 men and a little lady.... not sure if Lord meant the blockbuster film or the private film from his personal collection of midget porn that also has the same title.
Next is Liam. Laim starts by getting his cock out and waving it at Ivy.
Ivy is confused and struggling, so Liam then puffs his cheeks out and starts thudding and waddling around the place and makes himself look huge.
Ivy gets annoyed and thinks liam is calling her a fatty with a dick....... she soon calms down though when liam reveals that he was waving his willy like it was a proton pack from cult film Ghostbusters and the "fat face" was the state puff marshmallow man.
Next is Mad.
He steps up and ivy guesses "Broke back mountain" straight away without Mad even acting. Mad is annoyed at this because ivy has guessed right, but how did she know just by looking at him.
Last up is TM.
Ivy is shocked when like Liam, TM gets his cock out but then starts chasing a group of kids with it and then tries to round them up and pay them to join him in to a dark secret cave away from the public.
Ivys first guess of Jim l'fix it Christmas special was wrong but not that far out.
Time is up. Champ is horrified and demands to know what TM was doing with his willy and kids in a cave.
Answer. The goonies and the hunt for one eyed willy's treasure.

That is charades now cancelled forever in the Big brother asylum and Champ has to have a serious rethink.
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Re: Mental asylum

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Day 84.
Meanwhile in the Big brother asylum, producer champ is in the Christmas spirit and have decided to grant the house mates an early Christmas wish.

Lord is called to the diary room first. Champ asked him what he would like.
Lord asks for a traditional Christmas dinner that he use to have.
Champ agrees,and Lord is given the Christmas dinner he was use to. Unfortunately, the Christmas dinner was that of a wealthy mill owner from the 1860s , it involved him tucking in to an 8 course meal, whilst the malnourished service staff served him and ate his left overs are each other just to stay alive.
Next was Mad.
He asked for large Christmas stockings.
Champ arranged this but Mad was disappointed at seeing the red sock thing with pictures of snowmen on it, as Mad really wanted fish net stockings to go with his corset, heels, wig and lipstick. This was the Christmas he was going to become a Tina Turner drag artist and venture out in to transvestitism, but now thanks to Champ, he just looks ridicules.

Next is TM and ask for his elf from last year.
Champ, remembering the crazed trend from last year, grants the wish so TM can play Elf on the Shelf and have some harmless fun.
On handing over the elf, Champ noticed the little elf teddy toy is a bit smelly and wet with an eye missing.
TM grabs the little elf, runs off with it and then is heard moaning sexually. Turns out that last year he did, 'Elf in himself' and fancied more of the same, no one to this day knows where the missing elf eye ended up.
Ivy is next. Being so kind and innocent, she asks for happiness.
Unfortunately what she got was anger and rage as Champ miss heard her and thought she said "a penis" and then questioned Ivy over the fact she use to have one and what it was like and would she like a like for like replacement.
Liam is up next and asks for something to play with and lots of toys (to remind him of his childhood) Champ knowing what the house mates are like and misunderstood Liams innocent request, he gets ordering from the Lovehoney catalogue.
Liam is now the proud owner of the fist-o-tronic 5000 with 7 speed setting, an inflatable doll for the gender fluid, Anal bead wash, and a peekaboo bra set that Mad is now eyeing up.
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Re: Mental asylum

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These just get funnier and funnier and more creative/outlandish every time. Cheers for giving me something to laugh at every day.

Only bad thing is that I now really want to live in this HAF Big Brother house and can't. Oh well...
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: Wed Dec 09, 2020 5:44 pm These just get funnier and funnier and more creative/outlandish every time. Cheers for giving me something to laugh at every day.

Only bad thing is that I now really want to live in this HAF Big Brother house and can't. Oh well...
I love coming to see the next episode of Big Brother, the mental asylum 🤣🤣. Even if he does refer to me as having a penis! 🤣
I think the series should go in a way where I actually get to harm Tm lol xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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As we re-join the Big Brother Asylum, Executive Producer Champ is in a bit of a quandry...he can't believe he had fallen foul of the vile virus known as "The Christmas Spirit" which he has now managed to well and truly shake off. He is giving serious consideration to Ivy's earlier request of Piniata Donkey! Being as the housemates have already managed to completely mess up his intended nice Christmas games he had in mind for them...Producer Champ does have a concern or two when it comes to inmate TM and is wondering why he thinks he has been in the Asylum 84 days when it's not been that long...
Producer Champ has a momentary thought which gives way to a wicked plan forming for the unruly inamtes and suddenly develops a large menacing grin leaving staff increasingly worried as to whether or not he has an evil plan or just a bad case of wind! Producer Champ calls a meeting of the Production staff!

The inmates are in the common area, surpriingly relaxed and enjoying some peace, TM has retired for the evening giving the other inmates some restbite..when without warning Ivy is sommoned to the Diary Room. The tone of the annonucement has Ivy wondering if she has done something wrong, cautiously she enters the Diary Room.
"Good Evening Ivy!"
Before Ivy has a chance to respond the voice of the Diary room announces:
"Ivy you have been selected to carry out a special mission for Big Brother!"
"If you are successful you will receive a special treat, you will be allowed a full weeks supply of Caramel and another reward to be agreed with Big Brother, if you fail however, you will have to complete a forfeit challange assigned by Big Brother...do you accept this mission?"
Ivy cautiously accepts the challenge.
"Thank you Ivy, you may return to the other inmates, but under no circumstances are you to discuss or hint at your secret mission, big brother will contact you back soon!"

As Ivy returns to the others with a bewildered look about her the other inmates begin to wonder what has happened.
As she wonders what will be a large mischievous grin appears on her face...

Lord goes to the Diary Room and requests some more of the lovely food that had been provided by By Brother earlier in the day, after careful consideration and much to his bemusement Lord is denied his request and requests he be allowed a further visit from his minions...Lord is not best pleased with this and leaves the diary room chuntering.

Mean while Liam and Mad have decided some much needed naughtiness is required and have raided the chocolate suplies of the other inmates, including TM's secret stash that he thought were well hidden and have returned to the sitting area with it.
Ivy has decided even more naughtiness is needed and has suggested that Mad goes and gets his Christmas gifts from producer Champ she has also sent Liam to get his gifts and goes to her bag to find her handcuffs...what on earth does she have in mind....?

The large plama screen in the sitting room comes to life and the movie "Three men and a Little Lady" appears on screen as the title screens appear Lord realises it's the one from his personal collection and hadn't realised the Production team had seen his personal collection...bugger! he is heard to exclaim!
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Re: Mental asylum

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We go live to the Big brother asylum.

We join champ in the control room as he watches the house mates sleep.
Ivy is in her pink heart shaped bed, on closer inspection, the bed is only pink because she can not get the blood staining out of the sheet.
Ivy is sleeping soundly, floating and rotating slowly 2 metres above her bed as her inner demons chat way very much like Schmeichel/ Gollum from lord of the rings, And are heard saying "kill me those humans dead" "mmmm my penis" "isa like those me people, burn them burn them" "I love master, eat his soul"
Next Champ checks on Lord.
Lord is in his pyjamas and night cap, asleep in his 4 poster bed with the drapes draw and a bucket full of faeces as lord has not realised that it was his servants that emptied the chamber pot for him and not the faeces fairies as he believes.
Lord is dreaming away happily and mumbling about lowering the minimum wage to 3p and being able to beat his workers again.
Champ quickly looks away as that dream seemed to of aroused Lord.
In Mads bedroom nothing unusual to report, he is fast asleep but also talking in his sleep. "Daddy am I a pretty girl now?" And "My name is lola and I am a show girl" bless him and his wanted acceptance of being a pretty transvestite.
Liam has got his boyhood dream bed in the shape of a car. Liam is often spotted 'driving' it and can be heard commentating in his sleep..... not F1 racing but more commentating as he plays GTA in his dreams. This has lead to several complaints to off com as the words "mother fucker" and "hoe" was used 72 times before 5am.
Tm is fast asleep in his cage suspended in the air. He is sleeping peacefully, with the occasional puppy style whimper and uses his foot to scratch and itch behind his ears, before licking himself and curling up again. Unfortunately security have not put is bite stick in his mouth and he has gnawed through his arm though.
Champ is pleased with how the house mates are sleeping, so he then looks at his own network of
National hidden cameras.
A belt buckle is heard being undone as he checks the cameras.
Miss Smith at number 12 is sleeping soundly,
So is Mrs Appleyard with the big tits at number 4.
Miss Fox at number 7 has got up for a wee, champ switches to toilet cam to verify this.
Mrs Ali is asleep too but not wearing the lingerie he bought for her.
Champ leans back and enjoys.
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Re: Mental asylum

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I think I've just discovered ivys secret mission and I have completed it. I feel used 🤢🤮
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Re: Mental asylum

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It is tea time in the Big brother asylum.
The housemates are eating separately.
Since Mads has suggested about doing bushtukka challenge style events, this has given Champ an idea.
Producer Champ has given the housemates something vile to eat as a main and then get something good for dessert if they complete it.
When Mad first mooted the idea, Ivy freaked out at the thought of something crawling over her face as she slept and something hairy going in to her mouth and laying eggs.
So for this challenge, Ivy is blindfolded and sat at the table. She already knows that her dessert is a chocolate orange as big as her tits.
She is nervous as she feels something prickly and warm over her face, a leg of a spider or a hair tickled her nose and then something warm hit her face and make it's way down it like a slug trail. She opens wide and freaks out as this prickly warm prune like texture thing enters her mouth. She tries to swallow it but cant so she bites.
She is startled to hear a loud scream of pain, she whips her blindfolded off to see Liam laid crunched up on the ground.
Producer Champ reveals to ivy that it was not a spider or a slug on her face. but liams ejaculate and freshly shaven scrotal sack teabagging her and the spiders leg was actually a stray pube that went up her nose.
Mad has offered to 'look' at liams balls but mad has no medical background and liam wisely refuses. Liam is taken to A&E after his balls were bitten in to like a mini chicken Kiev.
Next is Mad.
Previously mad had show interest in a bushtukka challenge and had claimed to of eaten kangaroos testicles. So champ put this to the test and found some kangaroo testicles. Mad was delighted and licked them, gargled them, rubbed them on his face and then bit in to them and ate them all.
It wasnt until an eagle eyed viewer from the Chester Zoo wrote in after seeing this type of behaviour before. They sent video evidence of Mad with kangaroo jizz dripping off his chin after being caught in an enclosure there.
For legal reason all we can say at this time is that it wasnt just testicles he put in his mouth and not limited to just kangaroos either. However all this came too late to stop Mad from his angel delight (curiously eaten with his bare hands)

Next up is Lord. Lord is a traditionalist that likes hearty food, he is expecting toad in the hole. Unfortunately the show is cut to an intermission here as lord has lowered his pants, spat on his hand and opened up his anus and lubed it up ready for what he believes the challenge of 'Toad in the hole' is. He is somewhat shocked when he is brought Frogs legs to eat, rather than stuffing Kermit where no amphibian should go. No sure what version of sesame street he watched as a kid. Lord composes himself and eats the lot. As a reward he has asked for a glass of the blood of his enemies, as he trots off the camera catches a green leg poking out the rear of his trousers.
TM is up next. His challenge is to drink ivys special warm apple juice. He looks at the frothy specimen and places a straw in to it to help him drink it, the straw melts instantly. Looking at the sample that looks like wetherspoons strongbow, he downs it. As a reward he is offered one of Ivys special warm brownie and cream.
Mmmm as he tucks in to it, but is it meant to have bits of sweetcorn in the brownie and smell like Lords chamber pot? His pure delight is seen on his smile even though his teeth now look like a pianos keyboard with sweetcorn chunks and he open mouthed chops down on his reward.
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the master
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: Thu Dec 10, 2020 4:07 pm I think I've just discovered ivys secret mission and I have completed it. I feel used 🤢🤮
Turns out I had nothing better to do then walk around with your piss.
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Sc4rl3t
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by Sc4rl3t »

Shock and awe..... in walks a brand new housemate, Scarlet.
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