Mental asylum

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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:46 am Yes!!!!!!

I found a thread where I truly belong.
Great to see you have found your calling! :lol:
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:38 pm Btw folks. I've found out what Ivy uses the chloroform for. Put it this way, she is like a demonic possession and vocal with it, but you never hear her neighbours complain. I think she chloroform them when she is working so she doesnt get noise complaints.
How else am I supposed to be avoiding all of these noise complaints? Think I need a gag or something to keep me quiet and save the neighbours 🀣🀣🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:54 am
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:46 am Yes!!!!!!

I found a thread where I truly belong.
Glad to see you here, though I am sad to know you wouldn't be forking out to have the best of the best playing me! Emma Stone may be ginger but she can dye her hair and then she has the freckles like me 🀣🀣 Sheridan doesn't quite have that whole freckled look 🀣🀣. I'm disappointed lol xx
We can use make up or cgi for the freckles. :D

Apparently Master wants a midget to play you and I'm adament on an Eastenders actor. So we're splitting the difference and getting the guy who plays Phil Mitchell to play Ivy Mai
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Re: Mental asylum

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Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:21 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:54 am
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:46 am Yes!!!!!!

I found a thread where I truly belong.
Glad to see you here, though I am sad to know you wouldn't be forking out to have the best of the best playing me! Emma Stone may be ginger but she can dye her hair and then she has the freckles like me 🀣🀣 Sheridan doesn't quite have that whole freckled look 🀣🀣. I'm disappointed lol xx
We can use make up or cgi for the freckles. :D

Apparently Master wants a midget to play you and I'm adament on an Eastenders actor. So we're splitting the difference and getting the guy who plays Phil Mitchell to play Ivy Mai
Bald cunt. I will let you choose which one I'm on about
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
Honestly, if I had done any of these things with any other girls, I would of been kicked out ages ago. If you do come and watch, bring water proofs. Nothing to do with ivy squirting, it's just incase she laughs and snots all over the place or makes me cum on the floor again.
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:40 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 3:35 pm 🀣🀣 don't be jealous! Mines always going to be bigger and better 🀣🀣🀣 xx
Invest in glow in the dark condoms and we can re enact the starwars battle scene between Luke and Vader. Xx
Actually second thoughts, probably not, given where we would be stabbing each other with them. I dont recall Luke trying to stab his own dad in the ass or between his legs in film. Granted he did try and bang his own sister so he might be up for a bit of dark side stabbing.
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:21 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:54 am
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 6:46 am Yes!!!!!!

I found a thread where I truly belong.
Glad to see you here, though I am sad to know you wouldn't be forking out to have the best of the best playing me! Emma Stone may be ginger but she can dye her hair and then she has the freckles like me 🀣🀣 Sheridan doesn't quite have that whole freckled look 🀣🀣. I'm disappointed lol xx
We can use make up or cgi for the freckles. :D

Apparently Master wants a midget to play you and I'm adament on an Eastenders actor. So we're splitting the difference and getting the guy who plays Phil Mitchell to play Ivy Mai
Thats just mean! Not even a woman playing me 😭😭, although a man bossing you all around and whiping you lot in to shape is far funnier 🀣🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
🀣🀣🀣 I do not squirt gravy lol.
It is hilarious when master comes to see me though, he's dressed as a penguin, dressed me as a penguin, brought fish and stones to pay me, brought a horses tail, the list is endless! 🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 1:07 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
Honestly, if I had done any of these things with any other girls, I would of been kicked out ages ago. If you do come and watch, bring water proofs. Nothing to do with ivy squirting, it's just incase she laughs and snots all over the place or makes me cum on the floor again.
I mean, I can always kick you out if you want? 🀣🀣
Carry on being mean and I will 🀣🀣, its a good job I'm very very patient, with my special needs clientèle 🀣🀣🀣🀣.

🀣🀣 I'll have you know the whole floor thing was you, on your own and absolutely nothing to do with me, I wasn't even touching you and hear a splat on my floor! Haha xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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"We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
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Re: Mental asylum

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I swear to god your imagination is wild! Haha xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

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Love these Big Brother style posts...absolutely brilliant! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
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Re: Mental asylum

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LordLuken wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 3:28 pm Love these Big Brother style posts...absolutely brilliant! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
I'm reading them and can hear the Geordie accent lol
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Re: Mental asylum

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the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:36 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
The only reply to this I have is...

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Referring to Ivy as a donkey. Brave man. Somebody will get it up the ass. And we certainly know it won't be Miss Mai.
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by mrmadness »

Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
Only ever watched Big Brother once... 20 years ago. I'd definitely have to see this version though.

I just hope those anal beads are cleaned before I start decorating the tree.
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Re: Mental asylum

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Day 5 in the big brother house.
The house mates have failed their task of "be nice to ivy" curiously enough, Ivy also failed that task too.
The house mates have been punished by making them decorate the house for Christmas.
Mad is stood on a stool hanging tinsel from the roof, not sure he gets the christmas theme as the tinsel has been fashioned in to a noose whilst muttering something about auto eroticasphyxiation.
Master has misread the instructions about "placing holly and ivy around the place as decor and dont forget the mistletoe"
ivy is now suspended from the ceiling in what can only be described as a BDSM sex swing made out of rope with mistletoe stuck in her unmentionable areas, as the master is patiently waiting for the other playmate called Holly to arrive so he can put her up too.
Lord is playing the role of santa and making a list and checking it twice, who has been naughty and who he is yet to murder.

The camera crew are silently shitting themselves
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:01 pm
the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:36 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
The only reply to this I have is...

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Referring to Ivy as a donkey. Brave man. Somebody will get it up the ass. And we certainly know it won't be Miss Mai.
Na. Miss mai is alright. I am one of a few people ever to fuck her ass..... granted, when she got home she was livid and told me never to go near her donkey again, but we have made up since that misunderstanding.
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by mrmadness »

Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:24 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
🀣🀣🀣 I do not squirt gravy lol.
It is hilarious when master comes to see me though, he's dressed as a penguin, dressed me as a penguin, brought fish and stones to pay me, brought a horses tail, the list is endless! 🀣🀣 xx
Damn shame you don't squirt gravy because Oxo seems more expensive every time I buy it. Would save me a few quid. Taste might be unappealing though if we're talking what TM was hinting at. Will have to invite Lord and Master around for dinner to try it first. I'll stick to the salad lol.

Bet when you returned to escorting, dressing as a penguin was the last thing you thought you'd be asked to do.
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Re: Mental asylum

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mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:01 pm
the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:36 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
The only reply to this I have is...

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Referring to Ivy as a donkey. Brave man. Somebody will get it up the ass. And we certainly know it won't be Miss Mai.
Honestly didn't even notice he called me a donkey! He's fucked it now, and you're right I certainly won't be the one getting it in the arse 🀣🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by Ivy-mai »

the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:56 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:01 pm
the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:36 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
The only reply to this I have is...

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Referring to Ivy as a donkey. Brave man. Somebody will get it up the ass. And we certainly know it won't be Miss Mai.
Na. Miss mai is alright. I am one of a few people ever to fuck her ass..... granted, when she got home she was livid and told me never to go near her donkey again, but we have made up since that misunderstanding.
My poor donkey is still petrified if you come around! Poor thing still has to have therapy!
I'm so letting him gey you back now you called me the donkey πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ†πŸ†πŸ† xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by Ivy-mai »

mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:08 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:24 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
🀣🀣🀣 I do not squirt gravy lol.
It is hilarious when master comes to see me though, he's dressed as a penguin, dressed me as a penguin, brought fish and stones to pay me, brought a horses tail, the list is endless! 🀣🀣 xx
Damn shame you don't squirt gravy because Oxo seems more expensive every time I buy it. Would save me a few quid. Taste might be unappealing though if we're talking what TM was hinting at. Will have to invite Lord and Master around for dinner to try it first. I'll stick to the salad lol.

Bet when you returned to escorting, dressing as a penguin was the last thing you thought you'd be asked to do.
Its not gravy, don't know where he got that idea, out he fills me up with chocolate orange and I squirt, chocolate orange fountain now 🀣🀣🀣 xx
love Ivy xxx
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by the master »

Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:52 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 5:01 pm
the master wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:36 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:31 pm "We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life."

🀣🀣🀣🀣 had to reply to this in here, we are leaving my bloody review alone now! 🀣

This is hilarious and would be pretty accurate if we all did a BB style 🀣🀣 xx
More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.
The only reply to this I have is...

Jesus Christ!!!!!

Referring to Ivy as a donkey. Brave man. Somebody will get it up the ass. And we certainly know it won't be Miss Mai.
Honestly didn't even notice he called me a donkey! He's fucked it now, and you're right I certainly won't be the one getting it in the arse 🀣🀣🀣 xx
Donkeys are lovely,lovable, kind, hard working creatures and are so cute just like ivy..... that's all I meant..... nothing to do with the fact that they both have giant penis's
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the master
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Re: Mental asylum

Unread post by the master »

Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:56 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 6:08 pm
Ivy-mai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 04, 2020 2:24 pm
mrmadness wrote: ↑Thu Dec 03, 2020 10:38 pm Not going to lie, The Master and Ivy Mai Show must be the best double act around these days. I PMSL reading your interactions on here.

Seriously, if you ever start charging to watch your meets - I'm in. Not even joking.

Just need a laughter track playing through my earphones and some popcorn. The bit where Ivy squirts 'gravy' on TM... Will be up there with the bar scene from Only Fools and Horses.
🀣🀣🀣 I do not squirt gravy lol.
It is hilarious when master comes to see me though, he's dressed as a penguin, dressed me as a penguin, brought fish and stones to pay me, brought a horses tail, the list is endless! 🀣🀣 xx
Damn shame you don't squirt gravy because Oxo seems more expensive every time I buy it. Would save me a few quid. Taste might be unappealing though if we're talking what TM was hinting at. Will have to invite Lord and Master around for dinner to try it first. I'll stick to the salad lol.

Bet when you returned to escorting, dressing as a penguin was the last thing you thought you'd be asked to do.
Its not gravy, don't know where he got that idea, out he fills me up with chocolate orange and I squirt, chocolate orange fountain now 🀣🀣🀣 xx
Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory has finally got a rival. Ivy mai and her chocolate orange love fountain. Not sure it will make it as a kids book or film though. It would certainly be an interesting christmas film for the family.
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