Ivy-mai

[the master]

Not been on here much for a few months now but nice to see you three are as crazy and surreal as ever!!!

That will never change Mad! But just remeber the worst of the three of us is Ivy!

Worst / best.... I'm not sure, I usually wake up a few hours later in the penguin enclosure, not remembering much and wood splinters in my arse but oddly satisfied and happy and go back for more

[Ivy-mai]

I think I may have to go record for a disclaimer here. To my knowledge Ivy has never killed anyone like a spider in a bathroom and beat them to death with a news paper and disposed the body down the toilet or out of the window. Nor does she use chloroform... however my memory isnt great and their are patches I cant remember,but I put that down to the headaches and sore anus after I have seen her.
Ivy is actually a very attractive lady... all be it with a penis

I have never killed a spider, now humans are a whole other ball game .
You love my broom, you sleep so silently and never make a sound when I get the broom out .
Your memory may get worse yet xx

[Ivy-mai]

I dis once try to watch it, so know which one she is, and mostly because everyone says my daughter hair always looks like hers .
Its just not my thing at all, just not into it at all, I got really bored .

I know all these plots and plans you've mentioned and non have been fulfilled , about time something changed Lordy xx

Oh my here we go...well can I just point out Hagrid is a male, so he not she! You clearly got bored early on!

I know I've made alsorts of plans and many need to be fulfilled, but in my defence you did go into hybernation a day before the start of the month and as far as I am aware you are currently unavailable to be able to rectify the something that needs to change Ivy xx

I thought hagrid was the little girl in it lol. I certainly did get bored early in haha.

I didn't exactly go into hibernation lol. You can always message and find out when I'm about haha.
xx

[Ivy-mai]

Not been on here much for a few months now but nice to see you three are as crazy and surreal as ever!!!

Nice to see you again mad! You know what these 2 say isn't true! they're just super mean to me haha xx

[mrmadness]

Not been on here much for a few months now but nice to see you three are as crazy and surreal as ever!!!

Nice to see you again mad! You know what these 2 say isn't true! they're just super mean to me haha xx

Thank you xx.

They are super mean. But I sometimes think you led them astray. Down that alluring, dark path of pingu cosplay and 10,000 word reports.

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

New photos are incredible btw.

[Ivy-mai]

Not been on here much for a few months now but nice to see you three are as crazy and surreal as ever!!!

Nice to see you again mad! You know what these 2 say isn't true! they're just super mean to me haha xx

Thank you xx.

They are super mean. But I sometimes think you led them astray. Down that alluring, dark path of pingu cosplay and 10,000 word reports.

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

New photos are incredible btw.

I promise I didn't, those 2 ganged up and lead me astray .
Master was the one that brought up the penguin whore house (aka the deep), Lord is the murderer and I was the innocent bystander .

I can imagine you would sell millions of copies mad! That would certainly be a good book .

Aww thanks lovely xx

[LordLuken]

I dis once try to watch it, so know which one she is, and mostly because everyone says my daughter hair always looks like hers .
Its just not my thing at all, just not into it at all, I got really bored .

I know all these plots and plans you've mentioned and non have been fulfilled , about time something changed Lordy xx

Oh my here we go...well can I just point out Hagrid is a male, so he not she! You clearly got bored early on!

I know I've made alsorts of plans and many need to be fulfilled, but in my defence you did go into hybernation a day before the start of the month and as far as I am aware you are currently unavailable to be able to rectify the something that needs to change Ivy xx

I thought hagrid was the little girl in it lol. I certainly did get bored early in haha.

I didn't exactly go into hibernation lol. You can always message and find out when I'm about haha.
xx

Hermione Granger is the girl! Yeah I know before you say it I am a Potter fan! I would have thought it would have been right up your ally to be fair, especially with it being about wizards and witches... TM has testified a few times about your witch ways!

Hmmm...I'm pretty certain it was Hibernation you went into, infact I recall your last words to me were "Right that's it, I've had enough of Halloween see you in the Spring next year Lord!! "

[LordLuken]

...You know what these 2 say isn't true! ...

How can you say such things about us? Both myself and TM have been singing your praises and saying how sweet and innocent you are claiming to be and now by your own admission you are saying these things aren't true?

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

A best seller for sure, but you are missing a character here! Should that not be "The Lord, The Master, The Ivy and the Madman"?

[LordLuken]

I was the innocent bystander .

Pfft!!! Yeah right!

[mrmadness]

Not been on here much for a few months now but nice to see you three are as crazy and surreal as ever!!!

Nice to see you again mad! You know what these 2 say isn't true! they're just super mean to me haha xx

Thank you xx.

They are super mean. But I sometimes think you led them astray. Down that alluring, dark path of pingu cosplay and 10,000 word reports.

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

New photos are incredible btw.

I promise I didn't, those 2 ganged up and lead me astray .
Master was the one that brought up the penguin whore house (aka the deep), Lord is the murderer and I was the innocent bystander .

I can imagine you would sell millions of copies mad! That would certainly be a good book .

Aww thanks lovely xx

Hmmm innocent bystander?... Next you'll be trying to convince me the sky isn't blue! I bet it didn't take much to pull you into their degenerative world. Heck, you've spent 2020 contemplating filicide.

Thank you - you'll get your royalties too! I'm looking at distributing via Penguin Books

Just realised this is a review of yours that we've gone and hijacked. Sorry xx

[mrmadness]

...You know what these 2 say isn't true! ...

How can you say such things about us? Both myself and TM have been singing your praises and saying how sweet and innocent you are claiming to be and now by your own admission you are saying these things aren't true?

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

A best seller for sure, but you are missing a character here! Should that not be "The Lord, The Master, The Ivy and the Madman"?

I'm saving my introduction for a potential sequel. If the first one bombs I'm kept out of it lol.

[LordLuken]

I'm saving my introduction for a potential sequel. If the first one bombs I'm kept out of it lol.

Ah, I see what you are doing, ou're going for the royalties when Hollywood comes calling for the film rights! Good ploy actually, just do me one favour, I want you to insist the part of The Lord goes to Jonny Depp and the part of the good Lady Luken to be go to Keira Knightly

[mrmadness]

I'm saving my introduction for a potential sequel. If the first one bombs I'm kept out of it lol.

Ah, I see what you are doing, ou're going for the royalties when Hollywood comes calling for the film rights! Good ploy actually, just do me one favour, I want you to insist the part of The Lord goes to Jonny Depp and the part of the good Lady Luken to be go to Keira Knightly

You know me too well.

Sorry Lord, your part has already been cast -
Johnny..... Vegas

Danny Devito has been cast as The Master Penguin

I'm being played by a 6'4, body building, male model from Sweden. The voice will be dubbed lol.

[Ivy-mai]

I dis once try to watch it, so know which one she is, and mostly because everyone says my daughter hair always looks like hers .
Its just not my thing at all, just not into it at all, I got really bored .

I know all these plots and plans you've mentioned and non have been fulfilled , about time something changed Lordy xx

Oh my here we go...well can I just point out Hagrid is a male, so he not she! You clearly got bored early on!

I know I've made alsorts of plans and many need to be fulfilled, but in my defence you did go into hybernation a day before the start of the month and as far as I am aware you are currently unavailable to be able to rectify the something that needs to change Ivy xx

I thought hagrid was the little girl in it lol. I certainly did get bored early in haha.

I didn't exactly go into hibernation lol. You can always message and find out when I'm about haha.
xx

Hermione Granger is the girl! Yeah I know before you say it I am a Potter fan! I would have thought it would have been right up your ally to be fair, especially with it being about wizards and witches... TM has testified a few times about your witch ways!

Hmmm...I'm pretty certain it was Hibernation you went into, infact I recall your last words to me were "Right that's it, I've had enough of Halloween see you in the Spring next year Lord!! "

Nooo Charmed is more up my alley .

think you're confusing me with Champ there , sure he said he is hibernating hahah xx

[Ivy-mai]

...You know what these 2 say isn't true! ...

How can you say such things about us? Both myself and TM have been singing your praises and saying how sweet and innocent you are claiming to be and now by your own admission you are saying these things aren't true?

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

A best seller for sure, but you are missing a character here! Should that not be "The Lord, The Master, The Ivy and the Madman"?

Hmm , I don't think bullying me is singing my praises .
I'm saying I'm innocent and sweet , I'm a delightful angel lol. Xx

[Ivy-mai]

Nice to see you again mad! You know what these 2 say isn't true! they're just super mean to me haha xx

Thank you xx.

They are super mean. But I sometimes think you led them astray. Down that alluring, dark path of pingu cosplay and 10,000 word reports.

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

New photos are incredible btw.

I promise I didn't, those 2 ganged up and lead me astray .
Master was the one that brought up the penguin whore house (aka the deep), Lord is the murderer and I was the innocent bystander .

I can imagine you would sell millions of copies mad! That would certainly be a good book .

Aww thanks lovely xx

Hmmm innocent bystander?... Next you'll be trying to convince me the sky isn't blue! I bet it didn't take much to pull you into their degenerative world. Heck, you've spent 2020 contemplating filicide.

Thank you - you'll get your royalties too! I'm looking at distributing via Penguin Books

Just realised this is a review of yours that we've gone and hijacked. Sorry xx

Well the sky kinda looks grey right now . it didn't take long, I'm easily led lol.
if you had kids keeping you awake and misbehaving all of the time, I'm sire you would too .

I think we ought to make a new post really haha xx

[Ivy-mai]

I'm saving my introduction for a potential sequel. If the first one bombs I'm kept out of it lol.

Ah, I see what you are doing, ou're going for the royalties when Hollywood comes calling for the film rights! Good ploy actually, just do me one favour, I want you to insist the part of The Lord goes to Jonny Depp and the part of the good Lady Luken to be go to Keira Knightly

You know me too well.

Sorry Lord, your part has already been cast -
Johnny..... Vegas

Danny Devito has been cast as The Master Penguin

I'm being played by a 6'4, body building, male model from Sweden. The voice will be dubbed lol.

I'd like to be played by julia Roberts, Anne hathaway, or Emma Stone or even Sandra bullock xx

[the master]

Hijacking over.

This is Ivy Mai's review. In short. Fucking amazing on all levels. Get your arses in gear and visit her

[LordLuken]

Hijacking over.

This is Ivy Mai's review. In short. Fucking amazing on all levels. Get your arses in gear and visit her

Fair enough! And you're right that was short, wait til I put mine on here...well eventually anyway!

[mrmadness]

Thank you xx.

They are super mean. But I sometimes think you led them astray. Down that alluring, dark path of pingu cosplay and 10,000 word reports.

I'm going to write a novel about you three. Not so much a whodunit as a whoisthemostdepraved. Poison: The Lord, The Master and the Ivy. Will sell more than 50 Shades did.

New photos are incredible btw.

I promise I didn't, those 2 ganged up and lead me astray .
Master was the one that brought up the penguin whore house (aka the deep), Lord is the murderer and I was the innocent bystander .

I can imagine you would sell millions of copies mad! That would certainly be a good book .

Aww thanks lovely xx

Hmmm innocent bystander?... Next you'll be trying to convince me the sky isn't blue! I bet it didn't take much to pull you into their degenerative world. Heck, you've spent 2020 contemplating filicide.

Thank you - you'll get your royalties too! I'm looking at distributing via Penguin Books

Just realised this is a review of yours that we've gone and hijacked. Sorry xx

Well the sky kinda looks grey right now . it didn't take long, I'm easily led lol.
if you had kids keeping you awake and misbehaving all of the time, I'm sire you would too .

I think we ought to make a new post really haha xx

Haha. Checkmate. The sky is never grey when I'm around though. It's pitch black

Nah, would be the other way. It would likely be me misbehaving and keeping them awake. Apparently my sperm is so terrified of having me as a dad that they swim backwards.

No worries. I found your new thread xx.

[mrmadness]

I'm saving my introduction for a potential sequel. If the first one bombs I'm kept out of it lol.

Ah, I see what you are doing, ou're going for the royalties when Hollywood comes calling for the film rights! Good ploy actually, just do me one favour, I want you to insist the part of The Lord goes to Jonny Depp and the part of the good Lady Luken to be go to Keira Knightly

You know me too well.

Sorry Lord, your part has already been cast -
Johnny..... Vegas

Danny Devito has been cast as The Master Penguin

I'm being played by a 6'4, body building, male model from Sweden. The voice will be dubbed lol.

I'd like to be played by julia Roberts, Anne hathaway, or Emma Stone or even Sandra bullock xx

Definitely Hathaway. Roberts and Bullock are a bit too old and Stone is too ginger lol.

Who am I kidding. We don't have the budget it for them, so it's either Sheridan Smith or some random from Eastenders!

[the master]

Ah, I see what you are doing, ou're going for the royalties when Hollywood comes calling for the film rights! Good ploy actually, just do me one favour, I want you to insist the part of The Lord goes to Jonny Depp and the part of the good Lady Luken to be go to Keira Knightly

You know me too well.

Sorry Lord, your part has already been cast -
Johnny..... Vegas

Danny Devito has been cast as The Master Penguin

I'm being played by a 6'4, body building, male model from Sweden. The voice will be dubbed lol.

I'd like to be played by julia Roberts, Anne hathaway, or Emma Stone or even Sandra bullock xx

Definitely Hathaway. Roberts and Bullock are a bit too old and Stone is too ginger lol.

Who am I kidding. We don't have the budget it for them, so it's either Sheridan Smith or some random from Eastenders!

Think our budget would extend to one of the midgets that was rejected to be in side R2D2.

[the master]

You know me too well.

Sorry Lord, your part has already been cast -
Johnny..... Vegas

Danny Devito has been cast as The Master Penguin

I'm being played by a 6'4, body building, male model from Sweden. The voice will be dubbed lol.

I'd like to be played by julia Roberts, Anne hathaway, or Emma Stone or even Sandra bullock xx

Definitely Hathaway. Roberts and Bullock are a bit too old and Stone is too ginger lol.

Who am I kidding. We don't have the budget it for them, so it's either Sheridan Smith or some random from Eastenders!

Think our budget would extend to one of the midgets that was rejected to be in side R2D2.

We could go very low budget and go Big brother style.
Day 4 in the big brother house.
Mad has erected the Christmas tree.... unfortunately he has decorated it with anal beads and love eggs and the star at the top is a chocolate star fish
Lord is in a mood as he is away from the help and is still trying to work out if the toaster is some sort of sex toy.
Ivy has grown her Bush as she misses her pets so much that she needs something furry to stroke. Ivy has also had a mop inserted in to her anus by the production team. That so when she gets happy happy and makes a mess, she can mop it up as she walks (saves people getting sued)
Master is in the corner pulling on his willy in another attempt to not to loose it again in this cold weather. Master has also confused the diary room with the toilet and scared our camera crew for life.

[the master]

More appropriate given the time of year, A HAF nativity play. Think I would have to play one of the 3 not so wise men, that bring random crap as presents, Lord would be the inn keeper as I dare say he is the only one with a barn or stable to offer. Mad could be Joseph, wondering what the fuck is going on here, how have I ended up with this pregnant chick. And Ivy.... obviously innocent and sweet and loved by all, she can play the donkey in the stable.

[Ivy-mai]

Stop writing in here and use the mental asylum haha xx