YOUR NOT ALONE

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YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by Wraith »

If you have been, or still are, a victim of abuse i hope the link below will be of some assistance. Or maybe you would like to share your experience in order to show to other victims they are not alone and that there are people in our community that have been there and can offer help and understanding. Please feel free to add any links that you feel may be of assistance to victims of any type of abuse.

http://www.havoca.org/
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

like ive sed unfortantley victoms ov abuse is very common and yeah blue the system is letting alot down they just carnt get it in to there head that wat goes on is WRONG!!!!!!

Ive bin part ov domestic violence most ov my life i saw my dad with my mam and most ov my adult relationships av bin abusive eather a slap punch a good kickin, or even just mind games. There is ways out and hopfully the victoms will start to relise it theres ways out and when you find the way out ull find that inner strength to take that oppertunity to take it.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by roxy »

wel not sure wat to say ere maybe coz im a shammed to say but yes i woz sexually abused 4 12years + 10 years of mental torcher by my father! who is now waitin trial,itz hard knowin wat to say but i let him get off wiv wat he did to me + i stayed in silent 4 22years getin on wiv me life,thinkin it woz the easy way + i woz in control coz he cudnt touch me any more after i lefted at 15years old, but how wrong woz i, 11wks ago he sexually abused my 5year old girl,this woz the point i relised i woz neva in control, he woznt guna change, he took my life + my girls, so i did the hardest thing in the world + went to the police,i woz so scared, but had to be the mother to my girl she deserved unlike my own,i no ther is ppl out ther who it is still happenin to every day who r to scared to do anything about coz of wat will happen or who ther will lose but trust me it woz sumit i sud of done a long time ago coz then it wudnt of happend to his nxt victim wich ended up been my daughter, yes i felt guilty coz at the end of the day he is my dad but he sud of thought of that b4 he did wat he did, so im guna be strong now + get justice 4 me + my girl before therz anova victim.no 1 deserves to be treated in this way xxx
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by shyhullmale »

Well done Roxy

I can understand that it must have been a really difficult thing to contact the police about your own father but you could not let your daughter suffer the same abuse you had to suffer.

I hope that your daughter recovers physlically and emotionally from this incident and can continue to grow up as a happy little girl.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by roxy »

thankz every 1, just hope otherz can be as brave as my girl woz wen she told me, she woz braver then me.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

well done roxy my heart goes out to u darl to find that inner strength and to be able to post the post you have. You dont need to be ashamed its not your fault just be strong and see this to the end. You are one brave girl and your little one, you will be able to find strength in one and other.
I hope he gets what he deserves and the trial goes your way.
If you need out darl all you need to do is ask.
Be strong xxxx
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Unread post by CTR »

I have just read this Roxy and am quite shocked & saddened :sad: . I can only echo the comments others have made & I hope you get justice very soon :pray:
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by kiera »

Firstly i would like 2 say well done roxy it took alot of guts 2 do what u did and i can relate 2 what u said cos at the age of 17 i was kidnapped and raped by my ex partner and all i wanted 2 do was run away and keep on running as i always thought stuff like that only happened on tv. I was 16 when i met him and he was 27 to me he was the best thing since sliced bread. Three months into the relationship he hit me i should of got out then but i watched my dad hit my mam 4 most of my childhood so i thought it was normal the beatings got worse and more frequent. When i found out i was pregnant i thought they would stop but they didnt and i ended up giving birth 7 wks early my son died and had 2 b put on a ventilator he blamed me and beat me up in hospital. He use 2 tell me it was my fault that he hit me and i started 2 believe him and question my own sanity. Social services got involved because a nurse at hospital had heard what had happened and at 3 mth old my son was taken into care, as the violence had got worse and worse it was at this point i knew i had 2 get out or i was gunna end up dead. I decided 2 leave him and thats when he kidnapped me. He raped me threatened to cut my throat and beat me black and blue when i eventually got away i didnt want 2 go 2 the police i just wanted 2 run and carry on running but i knew if i didnt stop him someone else was gunna go through what he had put me through so i went 2 the police i even had 2 go a c a forensic doctor rape is one of the hardest things 2 prove as they told me the evidence proved we had had sex but it didnt prove i had said no. He was arrested and remanded in custody he pleaded not guilty and i had 2 relive everything at his trial. I didnt think i was strong enough 2 do it but i did and he was found guilty and sentenced to 9 years in jail. Its taken along time 4 me 2 come 2 terms with what happened but there is light at the end of the tunnel and i would urge anyone who is either going through it or has bin through it there is help and support and u dont have 2 do it alone cos no one maleor female deserves 2 live their lives in fear xx
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

wow keira u av just reduced me to tears. Im so glad u finally relised that you had to get away and not become another victom of domestic violence who ended up dead.
ive bin abused all my life if not from my dad who used to hit me it was boyfriends who thought it was ok to hit me. i to was raped three times. 1st wen i was a small child by my next door neighbour, 2nd a random guy in the street stuck a dirty needle in my arm and then raped me and then finally witch is the 1 that hurts the most my best friend who i grew up with all the way threw secondrey skool. After a while it goes threw your head that it must be sumthing im doing. i dont no where i av found the strength from over the years to continue with my life but ive found it and im trying my hardest to keep a hold ov it. After reading roxys and kerias storys on what they have been threw i feel quite ashamed at myself for being so hung up that my ex boyfriend never whent to prision. When its quite clear that they both have bin threw so much and im going on and on bout my problems.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

[quote="teepee2006]
I'm sure all who have read your post will feel for you and sympathise[/quote]

to be honest teepee i dont want anyone to sympathise for me the reason ive posted the posts i have on this forum and in thease topics is because thease are so personal to me but i wanna share my experiences so hopfully my mistakes will help anyone whos going threw the same or just starting a relationship like the one i had they will think " u no lexi and the other girls are rite i dont have to put up with this shit, im out ov here" im also hoping that if there going threw it at the moment there are people on this forum who will sit and listen to them and who wount judge them.
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Unread post by Crann »

as i sit here , sheading a tear , after reading these three storys , from these three ladys that i know , i am lost for words , there is nothing i can say .apart from what you three have been though , most of us can only half imagine .and that you have all more guts, bravery , courage , than i can ever hope to find .best ov luck for the future , and hope you all get stronger .and that the people that hurt you , get there just deserts .

kindest regard to all gary
LOOK DOWN AND SWEAR BY THE SLAIN OF THE WAR YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ! !

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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by shyhullmale »

I too have just read these accounts and i was astounded at what has happened to these ladies. As Kiera said, i did not think that kidnapping was something that happened in real life.

It also shows that kids learn by what they see, Kiera said that because she had seen her dad hit her mum, she assumed it was normal and therefore did not leave at the time.

I can see that the decisions to contact the police were very hard to make but particularly in Kiera's case, it meant that the guy was in prison and unable to hurt her any more.

I think it is a good thing that the ladies have revealed these accounts of what happened to them as although it is hard to relive the horrendous past they suffered, hopefully it may inspire other ladies in similar situations to report it.

I think i can speak for all the guys on this forum and say that we are shocked and appalled at the way that some guys think they can treat ladies. These acts should not be allowed to continue in a civilised world.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

Wraith wrote:If you have been, or still are, a victim of abuse i hope the link below will be of some assistance. Or maybe you would like to share your experience in order to show to other victims they are not alone and that there are people in our community that have been there and can offer help and understanding. Please feel free to add any links that you feel may be of assistance to victims of any type of abuse.

http://www.havoca.org/
thanks wraith its a good link thank u bin looking at it most ov the night and ive found the help i was looking for thank you.

and people just to let you no that if you need it. When u click on to that link you can find ur own theripist that even do ome visits.
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Unread post by lexi »

hi guys just another link for u


http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

xxxx
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by Crann »

couple more that offer help .

HULL WOMEN'S CENTRE
1st Floor, Queens Dock Chambers, Queens Dock Avenue, Hull, HU1 3DR
Telephone 226806 Office hours: Tues - Thurs, 10am - 3pm.
Information service: courses.
Counselling service: by appointment only
Free creche service
Legal Clinic first Tues each month 5.30pm, or by arrangement. womencentrehull@hotmail.com


HULL WOMEN'S AID CENTRE
Tel: 01482 446099 Mon - Fri 9am - 7pm, Sat - 10am - 2pm After Hours - 01482 788080, Mon - Fri 7am - 8am, Sat + Sun 24 Hours
Support for victims of domestic violence.
24 hour access through Emergency Social Work Team.

EAST RIDING WOMEN'S SERVICES
Telephone 227027
Providing support and accommodation to single women age 16+.
There is an answerphone to take messages if no one is available,
you will be contacted as soon as possible
LOOK DOWN AND SWEAR BY THE SLAIN OF THE WAR YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ! !

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Unread post by lexi »

cheers crann good link
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by Crann »

glad to help in any way small way i can .
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

thanks crann u just reminded me.

i would just like to say thanks to the people who have posted on this thread, the girls for shareing there stories,hopfully more will start to share. U guys who have posted there comments i cart speak for the other two ladies but i can ashore you that the comments ov this bored has helped me 2 start to come to terms with what has happend to me.
so thank you :dance: :dance:
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

u go dark angel :dance: in time hopfully domestic violence will be cum a thing ov the past :pray: :pray: :pray:
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by Crann »

Dark Angel wrote:I hope and pray it does.. no man or woman deserves to be beating, stabbed and humiliated infront of others.. its cruel and so friggin wrong .. there should be a higher punishment for it but the uk goverment sux big time

totally agree .

xxx
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Unread post by lexi »

Crann wrote:
Dark Angel wrote:I hope and pray it does.. no man or woman deserves to be beating, stabbed and humiliated infront of others.. its cruel and so friggin wrong .. there should be a higher punishment for it but the uk goverment sux big time

totally agree .

xxx
i think all on this forum agree at the end ov the day we can sit here and pray all day but untill the courts and the goverment pull there finger out, domestic violence sadly will continue.
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by lexi »

Here are some statistics for you
*Women assaulted by men they know: The self-completeion module of the 2001 British Crime Survey research found that "women are most commonly sexually assaulted by men they know". When the researchers asked women about the last incident of rape experienced since the age of 16, they found that 45% were raped by current husbands or partners, 9% by former partners, and a further 29% of perpetrators were otherwise known to the victim. Only 17% were raped by strangers (Walby & Allen, 2004).
*12.9 million incidents: The British Crime Survey found that there were an estimated 12.9 million incidents of domestic violence acts (that constituted non-sexual threats or force) against women and 2.5 million against men in England and Wales in the year preceding interview (Walby & Allen, 2004).
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by Crann »

these are frightning .

something should be done .

wish i knew what .
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Unread post by lexi »

yes crann they are very frightening the world will never change sadley
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Re: YOUR NOT ALONE

Unread post by roxy »

wel maybe things r lookin beta now adays coz i remember 10yrs ago i felt i cudnt even trust the police , wen it came to sexuall abuse coz heard that many storys about the old policing, look at the super intendant or who ever he woz of humberside police who got convicted wiv child abuse offences or sumthing or ova...either way that is the type of things that make us feel like shit,in my personal opinion itz like the christopher laverack case neva solved!! wel maybe if woz handed over to a different town of policing it may just get solved, but thats my personal opinion + thats just 1 of the things that puts no trusted in them from me, but now adays to me the police seem to be up ther + helpin ppl get the rite justice in the rite way.so fingers crossed ppl the world mite just be gettin a beta place :grin: :grin: xx
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