a suitable punishment !!

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a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by Crann »

As i write this thread , i think to my self " Why is the judisal system in the country so crap " now the reason for starting this thread is one of the lasss i work with was punced repeatedly by her ex boyfriend , and needed to go to hospital , she desided to go to the police , and the case went to court , her ex boy friend got 1 years comunity service !!!!
Now personally i think this is a total miss carriage of justice . As i think the toe rag should have served time for this offence , as should all wife beatters .

So to open the debate i have three questions .
1.What sort of punishment do you lot think wife beatting toe rags should reseve ??

2.Why do some women live in fear of toe rags , but rarely do anything about it ????

3.And why does the legal system not suport women who do stand up to there abusive parners ???

And as a final point , is there any bloke out there that is going to come forward and say he beats his wife/girlfriend and why he does it ???
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by TheBaron »

1) Cat of Ninetails

2) Some (a minority) like it but most live in fear of life without the tosser

3)I F*cking hope no one comes forward

& to all men who beat their lady U are a disgrace to the gender
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by WykeTyke »

The do it because they are inadequate cowards who know they would get a kicking if they started on a man.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

i agree with u all unfortuantly wen in a situation like this be it man or woman being a victom ov domestic violence. u feel scared wen wif em and scared without em and they make u feel like everything is ur falut and that they hit you for a good reason and sadly we the victoms belive them. wen in a violent relationship starts they always say they didnt meen to it was an accedent we belive them and that the start and it never stops until worse case the victom dies or we stand up for ourselfs.Which is so hard u wouldnt belive it, to get or find that courage and that strength from nower is such a big thing. i no sum people reading this will be like "why didnt you leave" unfortuantly its not that simple. we honestly think that we carnt leave. The person dishing out the violence makes the victom feel that if there wasnt there we couldnt live without them. Unfortuantly the numbers in domestic violence is growing in a recent servay every 6 seconds a person in there own home is being made victom ov domestic. Sadley the courts are not finding this serious and sadly just dishing out commuinity service.

Hopfully in the future the courts will start realiseing what a serous matter this is and wil start dealing with this matter accordling.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by shyhullmale »

Back to the original questions first,

1 - Think that they should not have community service, but be locked up inside without the comfy "Rule 43" that the peadophiles etc get. As stated by another member, they choose to pick on women as most of the time the women don't fight back.

2 - I have heard people saying in the past, things like "It's only when he has a drink he is like that, when he's sober, he is really sorry about what he has done". Therefore, they maybe stay because most of the week he is a very nice guy, but saturday night he is very violent. Also as others have said, the victim is made to feel as if it is their fault, and if the man gets locked up or whatever, they will not cope without him. Maybe like guys who sexually abuse their kids, it starts gently and by the time the real attacks start, the victim is so used to it they kind of see it as "normal" behaviour.

3 - I am sure that years ago, the police were not even really interested in "Domestics", however, now there are safe houses and specially trained people so the police are doing the best they can, it seems that it is the courts and the judges who are letting the ladies down. Maybe they don't see how terrified the victim is and underestimate the situation. Do they see the extent of the injuries etc.

I can honestly say, i have never beaten any woman. My limit has been a bit of consensual spanking and a few strokes of the cane in a role play situation that would have been stopped straight away if requested.


Finally, Well done to Lexi for having the determination to report the matter and to go through with the processes to get him sentenced. Unfortunately, the courts did not play their role. Let's hope that Lexi, you find someone else who proves that the majority of men are very good to their partners and you can start to rebuild your life again.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by Wraith »

men who beat women are beta males trying to convince thier partner that they are an alpha male.. how can a relationship work when one partner lives in fear of voicing a different opinion? well done lexi for showing how to deal with such a person.. he may not have gone to prison but if he continues this trend with other women his record will lead him there next time.... with a bit of luck he may realise this and you will have saved his future girlfriend the same treatment... well done :clap: :clap:
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

yeah suzy it did take alot ov guts to go to the police and then to post the post that i did it really hit home, but hopefully if any victoms ov domestic violence is reading this thread will relise there is a way out and there is hope. Unfortuantly in mine and blues case the courts never did out but there is still hope for any other victoms, just the whole thing ov getting away from the bloke was a big step 4 me and blue, but just cos the courts never did out dont actually mean that we didnt win cos we did cos we got away and at the end of the day thats all that matters. So any victoms ov domestic violence reading this thread just rember there is a way out and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also rember its not just women that are the victoms there is guys that are victoms ov domestic violence, and i wud think that it is a lot harder for the guys to cum forward and break the chain, but if we can reilise (and the courts) wat a huge problem this matter is then hopefully in the future domestic violence will become a thing ov the past.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by kiera »

Firstly in regards 2 a suitable punishment isnt it better that the courts identify that the person in question has a problem and needs help and is prepared 2 get them that help rather then sending them 2 prison, where the likelyhood of them re-offending once released is increased. My personal opinon is that they should be more courses 4 offenders relating 2 domestic abuse/violence drugs alcohol cos isnt it better 2 educate them then throw them in jail at the cost 2 the tax payer where they are likely 2 learn nothing about how 2 turn their lives around i no this isnt best 4 all offenders and crimes but some as it would hopefully bring the figures down and make both the victims and the offenders lifes better 4 the future. I no alot of people might not agree with what ive said but as a survivor of domestic violence myself and the shocking statistics recorded by the home office something else needs 2 b done so no-one male of female has 2 live their lives in fear.

Here are some statistics for u!!!!!

1. 1 in 20 of all reported crimes is domestic violence
2. It is estimated that 1 in 4 women will experince dometic violence at some stage in their lives.
3. In 1999, 37% of women homecide victims were killed by present or former partners compared to 6% of men this totals 92 women - 1 every 3 days or 2 a week.
4. Every minute in the uk, the police recieve a call from the public for assistance to deal with domestic violence.This leads to police recieving an estimated 1,300 calls each day or over 570,000 each year.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by kiera »

I agree teepee not every crime deserves a non custodial sentence i no this from experience i was a victim of domestic abuse not just physically but mentally he got a custodial sentence of 9 years he was released a few months ago and because he never addmitted 2 his crimes he didnt recieve any help while in jail and when he came out he assaulted his new girlfriend and ended up bk in jail 4 3 months. So yes ur right in the sense of if they are not willing 2 do something about it themselves then re-education wont work, he didnt subject his current partner 2 the ordeal i went through but thats how it started with a slap here and there but it never stays at that.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by roxy »

i must agree with u ther kiera, jail is not always the answer, wel not in this case anyways, alot of guys think its big + clever been in jail + come straight out ready to do it again,these men do need education on how to keep there hands to them self, wel said keira xxx
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

i must admit that in my case i now feel better knowing that he didnt go to jail as both roxy and keira have pointed out that it probley wudnt have taught him a lesson, but in the other hand i wish he had cos i no i cud walk down the street knowing that i wudnt bump into him. Its that thought of bumping in to him that scares me as i no he wouldnt walk past and ignore me he wud be abusive towards me. At the end of the day i no deep down that my ex isnt a bad kid at heart, he just cannot control his temper and i hope that me taking him to court over it all will teach him a lesson he will learn that women are not punch bags but there humen beings and they do deseve resepect.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by Crann »

im sure i read about a trial going on in america a couple of years ago were repeat rapist were being castrated by the courts , ( can some one see if they can find more out on that please ) .
do we think that would work in this country ??

well done you three on being so brave .

i wonder how many more women reading this post and forum , have similar storys , and are to scared or afraid to do any thing ??
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by shyhullmale »

Crann wrote:im sure i read about a trial going on in america a couple of years ago were repeat rapist were being castrated by the courts

I read recently in the paper that somewhere, probably america, they were chemically castrating peadophiles and it appeared to work as they lost their desire to be with kids.

Although this might help prevent more rapes and other sexual assaults, would it prevent them physically hitting a lady?
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

shyhullmale wrote:
Crann wrote:im sure i read about a trial going on in america a couple of years ago were repeat rapist were being castrated by the courts

I read recently in the paper that somewhere, probably america, they were chemically castrating peadophiles and it appeared to work as they lost their desire to be with kids.

Although this might help prevent more rapes and other sexual assaults, would it prevent them physically hitting a lady?
to be honest shy it prob wudnt as guys or even women hitting the oppisite sex and scaring the partner to death is wat i think is due to ther upbringing. As i read more and more into this subject it hurts me to relise that in most cases if u r brought up in domesitc violence u wiill almost garentee u will experience it threw ur adult life it hurts because u wud hope that sumwere along the line the chain wud be broken but sadley its not
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by LordLuken »

I have to admit this is a very interesting thread. I was very surprised to find that there are three of the ladies on the board here that have been victims of an abusive relationship. Firstly, I appload all three of you for having the guts and determination to do something about your former partners. Also, it took some guts to actually talk about it publically like this as writing about it must have brought some of the old memories back.

In answer to the question though...Sadly, this is a problem that is more and more evident each year. I would say a lot of the reasons behind this is that the younger generations now just don't have the respect for other people that they should have and don't have the values for other people that they should have either. It would seem to me that society in general is to blame for this mess and so to are the political correctness mob. Kids now are brought up with the idea that they can virtually do what they like and no-one can do anything about it. This attitude is then passed down in to the next generation has as been done with prior generations that is fueling this kind of behaviour.

Contrary to other opinions on here I believe these people should be locked up and undergo proper behaviour correction whilst reflecting on what consequences their behaviour have caused.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

LordLuken wrote: I would say a lot of the reasons behind this is that the younger generations now just don't have the respect for other people that they should have and don't have the values for other people that they should have either. Kids now are brought up with the idea that they can virtually do what they like and no-one can do anything about it. This attitude is then passed down in to the next generation has as been done with prior generations that is fueling this kind of behaviour.

Contrary to other opinions on here I believe these people should be locked up and undergo proper behaviour correction whilst reflecting on what consequences their behaviour have caused.
hi lord i totally disagree with you on the fact that u say its now the younger generation as domestic violence goes years back, but back in the day it wasnt frowend opon to hit a woman. Men would sit and boost about it in the pub and there mates would give em a pat on the back for doing it. Back in the day women where to be seen and not heard it wasnt until women started speaking up 4 themselves that domestic violence was to be seen as a problem. Even now in some cultures round the world women are still seen to be below the man. whitch im sure we all agree is wrong.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by LordLuken »

lexi wrote:
LordLuken wrote: I would say a lot of the reasons behind this is that the younger generations now just don't have the respect for other people that they should have and don't have the values for other people that they should have either. Kids now are brought up with the idea that they can virtually do what they like and no-one can do anything about it. This attitude is then passed down in to the next generation has as been done with prior generations that is fueling this kind of behaviour.

Contrary to other opinions on here I believe these people should be locked up and undergo proper behaviour correction whilst reflecting on what consequences their behaviour have caused.
hi lord i totally disagree with you on the fact that u say its now the younger generation as domestic violence goes years back, but back in the day it wasnt frowend opon to hit a woman. Men would sit and boost about it in the pub and there mates would give em a pat on the back for doing it. Back in the day women where to be seen and not heard it wasnt until women started speaking up 4 themselves that domestic violence was to be seen as a problem. Even now in some cultures round the world women are still seen to be below the man. whitch im sure we all agree is wrong.
Hi Lexi, I think the context of my post is being mis-understud here. I'm not saying it's the younger generation at fault, I'm saying that in general the attitudes are passed down through the generations. A big fault on my explaining my point on my part :). I'm also saying this will be more of a problem as the values and attitudes of the younger generations are blighted by the lack of correction in the past and the political correctness mob taking a lot of the powers from both the parents and authorities to correct this earlier on in a persons development.

I am all too aware of those societies and cultures that still do not recognise women as the mans equal. And yes, those are the wrong attitudes to have but there is little we can do about the cultures of other countries. We can only try and correct the attitudes and values of those within our own communities, culture and country.
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

hi lord thanks for explaining urself :grin: i was just a bit confused in wat u actually ment sorry i may ov just bin aving a :text-blondmoment: having a lot recently :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by LordLuken »

:lol: Don't worry Lexi, it should have been better explained on my part in the first place.
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Unread post by lexi »

thats ok lord just this is a touchy and personal subject to me
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Unread post by lexi »

no ben ur not being old fashiond :clap: i just wish and hope that other men will start sharing ur thoughts on this subject
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by lexi »

hi all just an up date karma finally caught up wif my ex partner :dance: a couple ov weeks ago he was rnd the town center causing trouble as per useual n he ended up getting his faced kicked in by a couple ov gay sqaudies karma its such a strange and wounderful thing also as im still being informed he is still do a IDAP ( Interegateded Domestic Abuse Program).
he started ited it a few days ago and to wat they are telling me he is goin and trying to get the help dat he needs n he is taking an active part in it. I no he has to go for thats part ov his community service but the fact that he his talking an active part in this program n not just showing up (mite sound daft too u lot) means that he ( to me) is aware ov wat he did and knows wat he did was wrong as i av sed to his community service officer i hope he does this course and it does brake his cycle on wat he does to his girlfriends. like ive sed hes not a bad kid at heart just a little messed up.
On another note too all u girls/guys who still aint managed to bring up that courage that u do have there is plenty more fish in the sea as i have found out i fort after my last partner that men (no offence guys its just a minority im talking about lol) wer no good scum n i av realised wif my current partner that is not true he treats me the way i want to be treated n loves me for me and he dont wanna change a damm thing :dance:
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by kim »

i think quite a few woman go throw domestic vilonce n its not a nice thing at all .these sertane men get u wer they want u n wen u argue theyl give u a slap u dnt think anything ov it then it slowly starts gettin worser my ex beet me onconsious went 2 hospital they look at it as if its ur own fault but its not i called the police on my ex a few times he went 2 court twice they had photos ov wot he did 4 proof n txts ov wot he sent me threaterning me if i turned up2 court hed bray me twice as bad bt i did go 2 court n they droped the charges against him n hes also hit 3 other woman now n nothings still hapend 2 him so ill never ring coppers again i think thers no point they dnt help they make it worser n dnt giv e a shit n us woman have jus put up with it its not fear wen ther the 1ns in the wrong its easyer jus 2 be single nothing can go wrong!!!!
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by roxy »

i cudnt agree mor wiv u kim, the justice system of today is aporling!!! im 100% against the police coz ov this + ther wunda y thers so much ov it still goin on!! get a grip i say xx
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Re: a suitable punishment !!

Unread post by Nicky »

yea i totaly agree there coppers dont do shit these days thats why most people get there family involved instead of the coppers xx
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