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FEMALE GEOGRAPHY - Between 18 and 25, a woman is like Africa : wild, naturally beautiful and full of mysterious, fertile deltas. - Between 26 and 34, a woman is like America : well-developed and open for trade, especially for those with stacks of money. - Between 35 and 44, a woman is like India : s...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Simon, a budding guitarist, and his dads brother were walking along a country road one night when suddenly a tractor came round a bend and ploughed into the pair of them from behind. Unfortunately Simon was mangled from...

oh dear oh dear !!!

I couldn't stop laughing when i saw that!!!

A TRUE AND ACTUAL COMPLAINT to EDINBURGH POLICE STATION: Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service, Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith Police Station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would b...

or at home if theres lil ears around, or ya granny, or..............

cant stop laughing

How to marshall aircraft off the flight line

the Brits do it properly

Bo Rhap!!

The Royal Navy in action

The maths on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time. This is Heather. http://i202.photobucke...

Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a date rape drug going around called "beer" and it is generally in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at p...

the article says it all... no comments needed from me........

Ladies, please take note.......

DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out! ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's d...

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your frie...

A brand new shop has just opened in Hull that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any ite...

A WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls ...