A Swingers Diary...

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:40 am

hi Readers..another infrequent & overdue post to diary. Been lots of happenings since our last post, but time constraints led to leaving loads out

We have just come back from a rare trip to visit family in a famous seaside resort in the south west of England, been such a wierd week and peculiar to a lot of situations we end up in, felt compelled to jot them down for prosperity and underline some of the pitfalls one comes across within this lifestyle..

As with any break we have, we thoroughly check out people, clubs and events going on a few weeks before we get there advertised on popular swinging sites a few weeks in advance, make a few contacts in advance and see who writes back. As we only had about 3 days to mess about with..

We ploughed through all the options open to us from people that contacted us or showed an interest in meeting us..amongst them, all the usual advertised couples where the bloke of a couple wanted to cheat on his missus and meet on his own, yes guv'nor missus said I could, honest! (discarded) a few straight allegedly single guys, want to meet your missus, give her the best 2 mins she ever had, shoot load, well thats me sorted, go home probably back to wifey (discarded) Even came across a bodybuilding transvestite that liked nothing better than going out flexing with a set of heavy dumbells with nothing but a short see thru babydoll nightie, G-string, 7" platform stillettos & wig and film her self out side on motorway bridges!! Run a few of the key words in last sentence on Youtube..and he/she will literally "pop" up..a truly eccentric character, we raise our hats, skirts to you for your total barminess...(but still discarded)

We narrowed options down to a few people to meet socially, feel em out see if we clicked, being totally social animals, we never put ourselves into those "Oh Sh*t! this ain't working and getting our substantial arses stuck in the top toilet window whilst making our escape" situations :)

Meeting No 1 ...We opted to meet this guy wednesday the day after we arrived at our hotel..had a great profile..well..we saw the photo of a sixpack and large 9" shaved cock...call us shallow...guilty as charged m'lud, went for the goods without checking the small print first......
We arranged to meet him for a drink in a nearby pub...we were expecting a flirty charming attractive man...what we in fact got, was a guy in bad Hawaiin shirt, drainpipe jeans and bad plimsoles, hair like an explosion in a mattress factory with the personality of a garden gnome (oh sh*t!) didn't smoke, drink, swear, fart in public..he might as well got his collection of bus timetables (with sundays in red) out to show us right there and then!
We ended up having to spend 2 1/2 hours of mind numbing boredom, being polite..he would just not take the hint that this was just not going to happen no matter what the size of the love truncheon in your florid y-fronts matey! He came to pub with the full intention of speedily downing his half of Vimto, us admire him in his great choice of wardrobe and then back to his for a game of hunt the sausage...
So in the end we resorted to the best weapon in our substantial arsnal of get out of jail free cards..Told him that we just love to tie people up and dominate them (true!) and I was more gay than straight these days (not true!) and loved nothing better than leap unexpectedly out of the nearest closet in my best super man suit while guys where trussed up like a supermarket chicken to the bed and roger them stupid with various household utensils (total bold faced lie, honest!) I think at this point he looked at us
with totally incredulity, believing all the crap i was coming out with, made his feeble excuses, he couldn't get out the door quick enough! We are going straight to hell in a Tesco's shopping trolley....

Out of time for today....next installment "Day 2 - Drunken nutter couple from hell in 3D"

love Kinkys xxxxx

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by groovychick » Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:19 am

can i be yr publisher i know we could make a few bucks looking forward to the next instalment x x x
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:00 am

Hi Groovy xx spotting a huge gap in the market here! can just picture it.."This forum now available in paperback" available from Netto, Setam's and all good pound shops! can't picture us doing a signing in Waterstones, Mrs K in her PVC pinny and marigolds and me in my best superman suit can you? You can proof read ours if we can proof read yours :)

Mind you, have to read over article 30 times before pressing "post" with the worry that people would think we make this stuff up! But you know us GC, Belle De Jour we are not :) 99 per cent true with maybe just a little artistic license

Kinkys xxx

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Mistermc » Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:20 am

great post KP, hope the week got a bit better!!
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:23 pm

Day 2

Firstly have to set the scene as to how this came about... As previously stated, we had trawled the more popular swinging sites for likely meets from the area we were visiting...as this was a bit of a swinging blackspot i.e we spotted very few couples that we felt would suit our more adventurous natures...Being a known retirement area..most seemed to be a in their 60's...pictures of sagging body parts, trusses, surgical stockings & flourescent dentures didn't really float our boat. A lot of the couples we spotted seemed to be pretty high brow seeking similar..oh lets do luncheon..and then come to our beautiful home etc etc..Mrs Kinky & I are just a coupla of skint working class down to earth quite ordinary people..rented house, crap car and fuckall in the fridge

Anyway from all our searching through ads like "farming couple seeking tractor owning couples for sheep shearing and ploughing fun...please send pics of tractor" we finally came across a couple that looked right up our street, down to earth, both up for a laugh etc we talked on the phone, seemed great fun so arranged to meet on day 2 in a pub near where they lived..so the scene is set...

We duly turned up and in they walked as promised.result!! sure enough we all got on like a house on fire immediately, the guy was tall slim and attractive, she was petite, blonde and really bubbly, really sexy looking! she had on a little short black number and stockings, could see from when she sat opposite me....so no warning bells on first impressions.. the only thing that did seem odd in that first half hour...the general conversation was sexual & flirty in nature, the beer garden was quite full, and they didn't seem bothered that people nearby must have heard what we were talking about..plus she laughed like a drain and seemed overly boisterous. It was suggested early on by the guy that we shouldn't waste anymore time and go back to theirs for some hot sex for the afternoon, we were really
up for that they way the conversation was going! talking about frothy coffee blowjobs and baby oil reverse massages prompted some commotion in the underwear department for all :)

As we left we both noticed that the while walking the short distance to their nearby flat..the lady was staggering a little..we just put it down to the "shag me" shoes she was wearing at the time..So, into the flat, a drink or two more, we all swiftly got naked bar the girls, they kept the stockings and shoes on just the way I like it :) Lots of picture taking and fondling ensued all round, did some doubling up all together then the guy started getting it on with mrs K and the girl dragged me off to the kitchen for a bit of table top sex had a hard on the size of KC stadium...now dear readers... at this point you must be
thinking "how can it get better than that??" erm...well..... it didn't, from that point, things went downhill faster than riding a metal roller skate nailed to a small plank of wood down Staxton Hill

She seemed really up for stuff at first, chewing my earlobes while i was stood up with her planted on the table legs wrapped around my back..then all of a sudden she started saying "no no no we shouldn't be doing this!" pushed me away.. me being a laid back non pushy soul..I backed off ..she then came onto me again..pushed me away..bloody hell didn't know wether i was coming or going...she was staggering all over the room and at this point I realised how pissed she actually was..legless in fact..we both had noticed earlier that she was pissed but just enjoying herself so we went with it, plus she was constantly drinking since we got back to their flat.

Next she dragged me into the front room to go play with Mrs K and her guy..she went over to Mrs K to do some girl on girl stuff...but she started getting a bit to rough..hair pulling biting lips, Mrs K being a sensuous soul is just not into heavy handed play..but just put it down to just getting a bit carried away..she then came back over to me, got rough with me, scratched the fuck out of me..bit my lips..at this point I was getting a little uncomfortable with the whole thing..even her guy looked a tad worried and was apologising for her behaviour. She seemed to calm down a bit and started giving me a blow job..I let her...argh!! bad move she grabbed the base of my balls and tried to yank my tackle clean off my body! dug her nails in...shit I yelped..she would not let go, had hold of my precious tackle in both hands wriving it around...was the most bizarre thing! everyone else in the room was mortified..she really hurt me! She stormed off and promptly dropped into a drunken stupor in their bedroom. Her guy promptly disappeared apologising profusely for her behaviour and went off to see what the problem was..while they were out of the room we made our escape, enough was enough...

So later back at the hotel...shellshocked...lying naked on the bed together..my tackle sore and totally out of action looking like the last barbeque chicken leg at the butchers...wondering why we do what we do? But...its who we are, we by and large enjoy our liberating adventurous lifestyle and have an enormous love and trust with each other and not bogged down by lifes petty jealousies. Meeting someone like that is really rare, we are normally better at judging situations, but hey we aren't perfect...in future we'll just stick with the people we already know..plus any new people..softly slowly catchy monkey :)

postscript: on our return to Hull the guy of the couple contacted us through the swinging site where we found them they asking us to verify them as "genuine" so that others would contact them..he did apologise, shame really, he was a really nice guy and we liked him... he had told us at some point on our meet that she did like the old drink a little too much...we just looked at each other and said at exactly the same time "Nooooo fucking way!!!"

Thats it dear readers, join us for episode 3 & 4 Combined - "Knickerless Tranny Waves His Willy for Gay Pride Week" & "Mrs K's Horny Massage in Gay Pub Scandal!"

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by tommybadman » Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:20 am

This is a joy to read - keep 'em coming! (and I hope you had a good time at some point!) :grin:

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:02 pm

Busily working of episodes 3 & 4 please bear with us xxxxx

Hope everyone enjoying posts?

Love Kinky's xxx

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Belinda » Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:42 pm

I know why you're called Kinkys hehe

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:31 am

erm...hello! long time no see! Hopefully reviving this diary/come blog very soon... :)

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by lexi » Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:02 pm

kinkypeeps wrote:erm...hello! long time no see! Hopefully reviving this diary/come blog very soon... :)
welcome bk kinks :dance: :dance: :dance:
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by groovychick » Tue Sep 11, 2012 2:43 pm

i know what mischeif and laughs u guy get upto so i cant wit for the next diary i would pay good money for that but dont bloody think of charging me lol x x x
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by sophie » Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:55 pm

well i for one am sat here laughing, not at your pain i might add but it,s the way you tell em,, keep em coming, who knows some other daring peeps might want to add there own
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Mistermc » Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:10 pm

kinkypeeps wrote:erm...hello! long time no see! Hopefully reviving this diary/come blog very soon... :)
Look forward to reading the latest installment!
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Vamps » Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:43 am

Hello Kinks,Really funny you should write a book im sure a lot of people would love to read about your adventures.

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:51 am

Thank you Vamp, and welcome to the boards :)

Bearing in mind i wrote that stuff about 2 years ago..Shades of Grey is total Kack compared to the real stuff LOL

Kinks xxx

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Vamps » Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:05 pm

Have read shades of grey and it really did not impress me much,I cant even read the 3rd book its very badly written.
Vamps x

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:22 am

often thought about writing a book...someone needs to speak up about lifes realities in a non formal way in this lifestyle...too much whimsy and fantasy on the market today, written by people by and large, where its all supposition and fiction..stuff that happens rarely in the real world. But i have no formal educational qualifications...i am just an everyday average bloke.."bit fick 'innit" plus time is against me...so i write here jotting my musings as i find time...

Kinks xx

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by kinkypeeps » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:04 pm

Me again :) got bored waiting for someone else to spill their beans, so thought i'd commit to imaginary paper what we got up to last weekend...all true with a little artistic license..

As most of you well know, Hull has the fortune of having a thriving private scene... We were invited to one such party this gone saturday, we decided to go catch up with friends old and new...as usual it was great fun and a laugh but nothing was going on in the bedroom department..and us wanting to tickle our fancies a tad asked a couple of friends if they wanted to come back to our house, get mashed, have a laugh and a quick game of 4 way hunt the sausage

Just before we left, my lady friend asked us if they could bring another couple they know as they told them they loved blokes in frocks..we were introduced and they were really nice and i could see the glint of mischief in her sparkly blue eyes...she was one sexy girl..blonde, scary & buxom like i like em.. the plan was we would go home after and the other 2 couples were to follow about 30 mins after as not to draw any unwanted interest

We arrived home about 2am...to be honest, we didn't expect them to come and just decided to get dressed up and do our own thing anyway...I was halfway through doing my thing...bit labour intensive..takes about an hour from start to finish..feeling a bit nervous as not many people see this side of me always worry slightly.. there was a knock at the door, and our 4 friends came piling thru the door...Like with most people we know on this scene, no-one bats an eyelid when faced with a naked bloke sat on the floor with a face full of make-up....

On their arrival, Mrs K takes em in the kitchen for a catchup and a natter leaving me to get sorted and finish up...when i had i went into kitchen to the sound of our new friends looking at me with gobs open.....after the urge to chuck wooden balls in to win a goldfish had passed...my new even scarier new girl friend said "jeeesus...you mr kinkyboy are all mine..the rest of you can bugger off!" After laughing our 2 regular friends, mrs kinks and my new friends hubby disappeared into front room to rummage around on xhamster to find suitably nutty stuff to watch

I was left alone in the kitchen with this sexy minx and at her mercy...she literally grabbed me hold lifted me up spread eagled on the kitchen worktop..gulp...this girl had some strength wrapped my legs physically around her head and just snogged my face off....i was helpless..couldn't move at all but was really exciting to get such intense interest plus she was called me her dirty whore and i was going to do everything she told me to do...yet another 'Gulp' . ell after that she let me up..at this point i actually looked like a blond version of Robert Smith of the Cure (Something for our older readers..) shakely climbed down while she walked over to a chair, sat down and order me to face her while she took my straining cock in her mouth ..i was fit to burst with the intensity of it all...she then ordered me to lie on the floor under her..yes dear readers, the view upwards was pretty damn amazing..time to blow "How Deep is Your Vallleeeee's" like i was playing lead Tuba for the Shithouse and Gastrick flesh band (Something for our even older readers)

with my ears covered by her amazingly muscly thighs..i could just about hear her gasping and moaning and going "oh my god, oh my good..i'm going to cuuuuuum" I had this sudden urge to get the fuck outa there as things where getting a tad wet and it felt a little like i was being waterboarded by Al Quiada "Ver did you get zat god awful toe nail polish transvestite infidel devil spawn!!!" I dropped back on the floor...and out it all came..guuuuuush...fuckin gallons of it...all that bloody effort washed off in an instant..absolutely soaked to the skin..Tiswas was never like this! really though? absolutely fuckin marvellous LOL!

I got up dripping like the creature from the black lagoon in a frock...squelched into the front room much to the amusement of our other guests..had to do a total change as i really was soaked from head to foot..

...the rest of the night was spent doing other mad swinger stuff which i'm sure you will all of heard time and time again

Kinks xxx

As a footnote...we just love totally spontaneous stuff that happens totally out of the blue..hopefully we have made another couple of close friends as this one was truly a night to remember :)

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by sophie » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:19 pm

:clap: in true you style
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by joebloggs73 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:56 pm

Great writing KP, a fantastic read :D
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by CTR » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:05 pm

Thx for sharing KP :clap: ... good to have something a bit more meaty to add to the forum trivia and I could believe it really did happen like that :P

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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by joebloggs73 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:07 pm

room1day wrote:
joebloggs73 wrote:Great writing KP, a fantastic read :D
if only eh mate..if only !!!!!
Live in hope Roomie, live in hope :)
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by LordLuken » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:41 pm

A great read KP :clap: :D
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Mistermc » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:46 pm

Can't beat a good squirter! Lol
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Re: A Swingers Diary...

Unread post by Bob1956 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:41 pm

Brilliant read kinks, if I had tits, I'd have laughed them off :lol:
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