i like it and so trueCullyclimb wrote:This is an old one and it's from memory:
Man rings the police to say he's been burgled. Police say it will be about four hours before they can send anyone because they have no-one available..
Man waits 5 minutes and then phones the police to say that he's just shot dead a burglar.
2 minutes later police are swarming all over his house. They ask where the body is and the man tells them that there isn't a body. The cop says ''you told us you'd shot someone'' and the bloke says, ''and you told me you had no-one available.
(It's better when read in an Irish accent)
funny sayings or quotes
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Re: funny sayings or quotes
Re: funny sayings or quotes
Mary Had A Little Lamb
Midwife Had A Fit
Midwife Had A Fit
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Re: funny sayings or quotes
TheBaron wrote:Mary Had A Little Lamb
Midwife Had A Fit
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you,ve been had
taken for a ride ,,(oh yes)
taken for a ride ,,(oh yes)
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if you play to hard to get, you end up playing alone
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you only get out what you put in
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keep your eyes open and your mouth shut
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Re: funny sayings or quotes
ROXY is a Rampant Raunchy minx
LEXI is Leggy and Lusted after by many
ABBIE has an Angel face Admired so by many
BELINDA is a Barmy Bodylicious tease
GROOVY is Greedy Gobbling girl
and me i,m a Sod Sober or Sloshed
LEXI is Leggy and Lusted after by many
ABBIE has an Angel face Admired so by many
BELINDA is a Barmy Bodylicious tease
GROOVY is Greedy Gobbling girl
and me i,m a Sod Sober or Sloshed
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She is so pure even Moses could'nt part her knees (Joan Rivers on Marie Osmond)
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Re: funny sayings or quotes
Marriage: putting one's hand into a bag of snakes on the chance of drawing out an eel.
Bore: one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
Bore: one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
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some you win ,some you lose
Re: funny sayings or quotes
I dont want to go to Heaven but Hell cant handle me!
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if noahs ark brought elephants in 2 by two why do boats bring in by the hundreds
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if beauty is in the eye of the beholder don,t be alarmed if your offered a brown bag
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Electric things run on smoke, if you let the smoke out then they're bolloxed
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ten to a penny
give him an inch and he,ll take a mile
the pen is mighter than the sword
give him an inch and he,ll take a mile
the pen is mighter than the sword
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dont be shy ur wife woznt
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fu** it, it's only money!
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love makes the world go round,,,,,,,,,,,,,think they fooked that one up
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Couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo
Wouldn't stop a pig in an entry
(I'm still trying to figure out that second one myself)
Wouldn't stop a pig in an entry
(I'm still trying to figure out that second one myself)
SPONSOR
I think I'll spread some happiness over here today...
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Guide.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Parlours.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Tourism.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Guide.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Parlours.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Tourism.doc
Re: funny sayings or quotes
alludes to bow legged man trying to stop a pig in a tenfootWouldn't stop a pig in an entry
means u are useless
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TheBaron wrote:alludes to bow legged man trying to stop a pig in a tenfootWouldn't stop a pig in an entry
means u are useless
Ta, been mulling that one over for months. May explain why I've gotta be back in Hull tomorrow for this resit.
SPONSOR
I think I'll spread some happiness over here today...
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Guide.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Parlours.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Tourism.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Guide.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Parlours.doc
escortgalleries/content/KDGuides/Tourism.doc
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had to do it.......
alls well that ends well
alls well that ends well
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